Problems in Your Marriage - Tips for a Better Marriage

We're all told that every marriage has issues - it's just unavoidable. It can be very difficult to remember that when you're coping with problems in your marriage, though - sometimes, it probably feels like you're the only couple on the planet that has problems.

I'm not suggesting that you take comfort in the fact that other couples are dealing with marital problems... rather, I'm saying that it's important to see that some couples effectively utilize relationship help to make the rough times, well... not so rough.

There are things you can do effeectively deal with problems in your marriage. The techniques are simple, but remembering to use them isn't - we often get so caught up in being right and winning arguments that we forget. It's hard to strengthen your marriage when you're busy trying to prove to your spouse that you're right.

First, you have to show respect for each other, even during a fight. Name calling, bringing up ancient arguments, and insulting your spouse can never be permitted, even in an argument. These things don't help anything, and they usually make things worse.

Second, listen to your spouse. You and your partner both have the right to be heard... so take turns, and when it's your partner's turn to talk, don't interrupt!

Third, when you're wrong, admit your mistake. This can be a monumental task, but it's essential to a happy and healthy relationship. If you want your spouse to admit his or her mistakes, you're going to have to extend the same courtesy. It can even help you allow yourself to be human.

Finally, when you say you're going to change to improve the marriage, do it! Empty promises only show your spouse that you can't be trusted, and eventually, your spouse will learn not to believe anything you say.

These tips, when with other relationship strategies, will help you work through the problems in your marriage. If you want to build a happy, healthy partnership without constant fighting and drama, I'd recommend checking out Save the Marriage - it's helped thousands of couples, just like you, fight less and enjoy each other more!

Dealing with the Problems Marriage Brings

We all know at least one couple that, on the surface, always looks perfectly contented and happy. Most of the time, we believe that the bliss is real. I can't tell you how many times my wife has looked at me and said, "You know, Jim and Teresa are always so happy - you can tell they just adore each other. Why can't we be like that?"

Think about the couple you know that always looks happy. Chances are, their marriage has at least as many problems as yours - maybe more. If you could look deeply into their lives, you'd see that they're dealing with similar issues - money, sex, housekeeping, work stress, children, and on and on.

So what is the difference between their relationship and yours?

Well, there are two possibilities. Either they're really good at faking the perfect marriage for the sake of keeping up appearances... or they deal with issues and problems more effectively.

I'm not going to address the first possibility. Sure, there are times when you have to put on a mask, but for the most part, there's not much point in pretending like your life is perfect.

As for the second possibility... this is where you should really pay attention. It's fair to say that every single marriage has its share of problems. It's how they address those problems that makes a difference between a blissful marriage and a miserable one.

Here are a few tips to help you manage the problems marriage throws at you more effectively:

• Set aside 20 minutes a day, after the kids are in bed, as a "venting" time. This isn't about fighting with each other; this is about using each other as a sounding board to talk about whatever is stressing you out. This helps keep outside stresses from leaking into your marriage and causing problems. Often, marital problems are fueled by stress about things that are completely unrelated.
• When addressing a problem, ask your spouse to look at the issue as if it were happening to another couple (and you'll do the same). In other words, you're putting a hypothetical couple in the same situation and then analyzing the problem. This helps clear the emotions surrounding the issue, and makes it easier to find a solution that is mutually beneficial.
• If you absolutely must have it out, fight fairly. Both partners must have equal time to express their viewpoints. Name calling is forbidden. So is bringing up your spouse's unrelated character flaws, or dredging up a disagreement from a decade ago. Even when you're fighting, there should be a purpose. If one of you doesn't feel like finding a solution at the moment, the two of you should change the subject, because you're not going to get anywhere.

You and your spouse can dramatically improve your marriage just by changing how you deal with the problems marriage throws at you. The better you can deal with these issues, the happier you and your spouse will be... and other people will look at you and wish they could be as happy!